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President & Mrs. Obama dancing, January 20, 2009
The words “authentic” and “genuine” come to mind when I see Barack and Michelle Obama together as husband and wife. It is a very welcome “new” picture of us as black people and one that is sorely needed in the black community at large.
No community has been more devastated by the lack of meaningful, committed relationships than black Americans. No group has more single professionals who have never been married by age 40 than black professional women ( I would be one of that number or upwards of 70% according to the New York Times). Political scientists and sociologists tell us that a black child growing up today had a better chance during slavery of being with both of his parents than he does today. That is both sobering and stunning at all once.
But what Barack and Michelle Obama bring to the table for us as black folk is far more than a “new era of style” or “political change”. What they bring to the table is PDA (public displays of affection) reminiscent of high school teenagers oogling over each other in the hallways–holding hands, kissing, cuddling and nuzzling. They present a very different picture of what black professional people in America can be: healthy, loving, selfless, committed, loyal, stable, and humble.
As they danced at the Inaugural balls on January 20th, he was the beaming basketball star with the tall striking prom queen at his side. They remind us of our own youthful first loves and romance. They make us believe that love is still possible between two people who have been together for 16 years of marriage and who have known each other for almost 20. They are Claire and Cliff Huxtable come to life–we can touch them–see them–relate to them–they are our black JFK and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis all wrapped up into one.
This is a steep departure from the fake, staged, and stiff Washington power couples we are used to seeing on our TV screens each election cycle. No drama Obama as the new President is often called is not the subject of womanizing rumors that sadly fill Washington’s corridors of power and prestige. The man is faithful to his wife in every sense. He opens her car door to his Presidential Limo, he holds his daughters hand, he kisses his wife affectionately in public–he swoons over her–he is still smitten–I hope Michelle knows how blessed she is to have this man in her life (and he her). Not because he is the President of the United States–but because he is a man–he is something most of us black women of GenX and younger have rarely seen. He is the embodiment of what Hill Harper writes in his book, Letters to a Young Brother, a “peaceful warrior.”I will explain that in another post or have Hill do so when I get him to be a guest interview on the iask sister blog in the near future.
More importantly, the affect of all of this Obama LOVE is going to be powerful. You can see it already. We all “aaawed” and “cooed” as we watched the Obama girls (with grandma Robinson following close behind) descended the Capitol stairs and make their way to the swearing in platform in January 20th. This is new for those of us under 45 years of age. Many of us Genxers are the product of divorced or broken homes. We grew up under the threat of the cold war, and a culture that became more and more isolated and selfish. It became known as the “ME” generation.
My prediction is that Hip-Hop–and the demeaning video vixens that we see on BET, MTV, and the use of the words “bitch” and “ho” and “Nigga” will be a thing of the distant past–SOON. I have been listening to the young people (under age 30) and they are touched and deeply inspired by this couple’s love for one another. They want to be married someday–”respect” their wives, “love” their children. It just warms my soul to hear the hopeful optimism from a generation of young black teens and kids who just one year ago could not see the glass as half full.
This is one love affair that we can all be proud of–At last–our shining example of healthy black love has come along.
