I woke up this morning with the song “When A Man Loves A Woman” on my mind. You know it–the classic 1960s #1 hit by Percy Sledge. My mom tells me that when she was dating my father that he used to play it for her all the time.

It was on my mind, not because I had romantic thoughts, or love songs on my heart, but because I saw it (love) in action on Tuesday afternoon. I witnessed a man who truly loves a woman and I want to dedicate today’s post to Henry and Francene Robinson of Reston, Virginia.

You see Fran is having surgery today. She has been battling breast Cancer (Triple Negative Strain–which affects black women in great numbers) for years and during Inauguration week, she started having headaches. It turns out that the Cancer had spread to her brain.

What touched me, however, beyond Fran’s incredible spirit and her faith that all would be well was what I saw in her husband Henry. They have been married for almost 30 years, they have two grown sons, and they have been through a lot together. Like all married couples they have had good years and challenging years, but through it all Henry has remained loyal and steadfast. Something that I hope his sons see in him as they watch their mother and father fight this battle together–as one flesh.

As we sat in Fran’s hospital room on Tuesday (sharing a basket of edibles fruit) she needed some foot cream rubbed on her feet. My mom, who is a nurse immediately offered to do so. But Henry insisted gently that he be the one to do so because the foot ointment did not have such a pleasant aroma to it. We all laughed. Then Henry, dutifully and lovingly removed his wife’s footies, rubbed her feet, and then placed them back on.

Watching them was sobering to me. It reminded me once again about what matters in this life. What matters is “LOVE”. When you are young you never consider illness, or death. It just doesn’t enter your mind. Yet, all of us will one day perish. The question becomes that when our individual hour of challenges comes, will we have a Henry by our side?

Love is easy when we are young, healthy, beautiful and fit. Love is easy when it is passionate and burning like the embers in a fire. Love is easy when it is just two lovers, travelling the world, no children to worry about, no bills mounting, no in laws to care for. The vows we take on our wedding day are easy–because we are standing at the edge of the unknown. We are gazing love struck at the object of our affection standing next to us and we take those words “in sickness & health”–”richer or poorer” for granted.

The test of LOVE comes when someone we love or have pledged our love to becomes ill, challenged or otherwise dependent upon us. Henry, dear sweet Henry loves his bride still. She has no hair (thanks to the Chemo). She has no breast (thanks to the Cancer). And today, she will undergo a very serious surgery that will leave an incision on her head. Yet Henry looks at her with love in his eyes, and they hold each other up. Fran is as feisty as ever–she is the storm to his calm. They compliment one another. That is why their love has endured.

When I asked Henry how he was doing (you know we women folk take care of one another but we often forget the men who are supposed to be strong and immovable–they hurt also)–he replied, “Well, I had a come to Jesus moment when we found out about this. It was like a kick in the stomach. It hurt. But I took it to God in prayer and now I am okay. It will be okay.”

The most humbling part of all of this is that Henry lost his job just before Christmas. Yet, he is still standing. A lesser man would have crumbled by now. His prospects are good, however, and with the help of good friends (and these two people have many) he will come through this all just fine. But consider for a moment the stress of it all. A wife with cancer, health care costs, and losing your job in the worst U.S. economy in a century. This is a man who gets it. He has his priorities straight. He and his sons have been sleeping at the hospital watching over Fran and protecting her.

Young men reading this–middle aged men reading this–learn from this man.

Yes, when a man loves a woman, he’ll trade the world for the good thing he has found.

If I Have not Love, I Am Nothing

Peace

Sophia