- Sophia A. Nelson
I believe in second chances, because I was just given another one.
As many of my friends and family know by now, I had a serious bicycle accident late last year (2008) and walked away with a cracked helmet, and some contusions on my leg and back. My bike was pretty damaged, but all in all I seemingly made out okay. That is until, a few weeks ago (2009) when I near collapsed in pain from severe headaches and numbness in my legs, and face. The doctors were sure I had suffered a stroke (and so was I) and admitted me to the hospital.
Laying in the ER with my mom at my side (thank God she is always at my side when I need her) some of the most frightening thoughts coursed through my mind. I started thinking about my life, my choices, my unfinished business (not work but the living of life that so many of us let pass us by), and I started to cry. I feared that I had MS, or that I had been struck yet again with some unexpected life tragedy that was going to test my resolve. I was terrified. I am in the prime of my life after all, with everything ahead of me and everything going my way and I feared it was all about to be swallowed up in some difficult life altering medical condition that I did not want to deal with.
What I did not know as I lay there in late June, was that the cause of my sudden body/head weakness had occurred many months before the previous November as I was biking on the Virginia O&D Trail. Being like most people in my generation, I am always moving too fast, multi-taking and not paying attention when it really matters to my own well-being. I had ignored seriously severe headaches for months, and ignored all the symptoms that were clearly related to some type of head injury or trauma. How very foolish of me.
Long story short, the doctors were perplexed and they started to shoot from the hip and opine as to whether my heart was functioning properly and if that was the cause of my sudden episode. I was in shock and I started to accept I might not make it–that death was coming for me. So, I prepared my Last Will & Testament, a Living Will Directive, spent some time with my nieces, and prepared for the worst. It was not to be. I have been walking around with a fractured skull and concussion. It took two sets of MRI’s to get the right diagnosis, and we are only part of the way through with the medical tests, but I can tell you that the doctor looked at me with horror in his face and said, “You should not be with us Ms. Nelson.” I smiled back at him and said simply, “Doc, you don’t know God.”
The injuries I sustained would have ended my life if I had not been wearing a helmet that day. And that is where the real story begins: that morning as I set out with my ipod on my head, and my cell phone in my biking shorts–I was not wearing a helmet. I had just had my hair done and I was going on TV later to discuss the pending election and I didn’t want to mess up my new cut. It was then that the voice of a 2 foot tall, 4 year old Angel saved me from myself: “Ms. Sophia why you not wearing your helmet today?” I hung my head in shame–not wanting to set a bad example for my young neighbor, and I went back for my helmet and dutifully put it on. Need I say more?
My point is this: I was not paying attention. I was not enjoying BEING on my bike–I was talking on my cell phone. And it nearly cost me my life–the damage of which did not manifest itself for months. Had I not heeded that voice from the small boy next door my fate would be different. Life is about choices and chances in my estimation. We always get to make choices, but we rarely get second chances to start over again–or rethink our lives. The past weeks were dark days as I was unsure of my mortality–they were very lonely days. Not once did I wish for more time for work, or on the computer writing, or to be obsessed with my blackberry. Not once did I wish for more time alone or away from the people I love. All I could think of was love, my family, my friends, and the wonderful life I am blessed to lead.
The question now is what do I do with this fresh start. The first thing I promised myself is to be grateful each day and send up praises to the Almighty for his mercy and goodness–no matter what. The second thing I am going to do, really do is L-I-V-E. I have been given a second chance. God saved me from myself,once again. And I am going to spend it wisely. I hope you will do the same.
If I Have not Love, I am Nothing,
Sophia